It (The Job Search) Begins Again

Well I suppose today begins the next chapter in my job hunt.  I've slept on this decision by Fontheim last night and now that a new day has arrived.  I have to acknowledge my true gut instinct from the get-go immediately upon receiving that so-called "offer letter" from Orit.  When I smell a mouse, it really is there and simply because I'm very intuitive and wise.

Im very impressed by the UNITING of my friends.  It seems as though everyone who has learned of this situation has volunteeringly proffered seeing what they can find for me.  If not a full-time regular position, at least one which will tide me over until I can do better.  Last January through the help of my therapist, I went through the process of divorcing many of my so-called friends. Mostly these "friends" were mislabled "friends" by my own navie doing.  In the gay communtiy we tend to refer to everyone as "friends" whether we've know them 5 minutes or 5 years.  The reason I had to go through this divorcing of friends is that these people weren't supportive for me during last Christmas season when Toonie, my dog of 14 years was at his end of life stage due to "old age".  Gary, an African American and a social worker by profession said to me when I reached out to him... "Its just a dog.  What do you expect?  Its 14years old".  Well to me Toonie was my best friend of 14 years.  My family member.  The one being that gave me unconditional love.  So Toonie wasn't "Just a Dog".  I felt so abandoned during this with the exception of Mario, my friend from Venice, Italy and my best friend Sandy from Brisbane, Australia.  Those two friends, stood beside me.  Charlie, a relatively new friend at the time, was there for me too.  However he was unable to relate to Toonie much more than him being a dog.  Charlie has been a dog breeder previously and his emotional connection wasn't like mine to dogs.  Gary's remark has been the primary topic of my therapy sessions since it happend.  His statement was profound and had a profound negative impact on me.  But that night a couple nights before Christmas, when mother awakened me knudging me on my shoulder; saying "wake up Martin, I'm here for Toonie".  Made it ALL better.  I felt an eerie ease and calm all over.  An ease that guaranteed me that the unsupportive friends were moot and that Toonie was in the best hands he could possibly be in....his  grandmother's.  Im so fortunate that my mom is with me every day and that I was able to allow her spirit into my life.  For it is her who is everwatching over me and providing a safe and secure oversight for me through the mercurial journey of my fulfilling, rewarding, and enriching life.  No matter how difficult life gets, my mother will always be there to provide me a safe harbor, unconditionally.  She did so for me during childhood, she's promised me forever.  I know she won't let me down.

It wouldn't surprise me that I never receive the $1600 in wages for the 4 days I worked.  Nor would it surprise me if my suspicion were correct that they were attempting to circumnavigate the headhunter's fee by demanding to deal directly with me opposed to communicating with me through the headhunters.

 

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: The ability to know right from wrong and the wisdom to acknowledge it when either is put before me.  I'm also grateful for my friends including Tim, Sam, and Charlie.  I'm so lucky to have my brother...annoying as he may be we share an unconditional brotherly love.