Its Friday...Back in DC

Today’s Word  

transmute \trans-MYOOT; tranz-\, transitive verb: To  change  from  one  nature,  form, substance, or state into   another; to transform.

 

Today, I'm well enough to make the 5-1/2 hour drive back to DC from Bristol.  Its now everning and I feel well enough to think I'm better.  I came back to DC today to do some business and check my mail for my eBay purchases of Cartier Cologne, a Hugo Boss Shirt, and the Tonneau cover for my Land Rover.  That Land Rover is really cleaning up great.  I believe Jason was very honest with me in his representation of it.

 

Things I'd like to add to the Land Rover (WHEN I GET A JOB, IF I EVER DO) is:

1.  Tinted windows.

2.  Upgraded wheels and tires.

3.  Bush lights.

4.  Compass.

5.  New seat covers.

6.  Maybe even a new paint job. (The paint is good; polishes nicely, but is a bit faded)

7.  A right-side mud flap.

8.  A CD Changer.

9.  A stronger radio.

10.  A standard (non-power) radio antenna.

 

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: .Jason's honesty in selling me a used Land Rover.  I think he's a good man.

READERS:  Your thoughts are VERY VERY IMPORTANT TO ME otherwise I'd not open my life to you like I do, particularily to those of you who have been given the link directly.  I offer my sincere thanks and appreciation for your comments about this posting.  Please click the link below to post them here.

Missing Viberator

Today's Word

intransigent \in-TRAN-suh-juhnt; -zuh-\, adjective: Refusing to compromise; uncompromising.

OK, Has anyone happened to have found a lonesome viberator?  RJ is missing his.  He supposedly left it in my room at Club Washington last time he was there.  I haven't seen it.  Chances are its not my size.  Here's an IM he recently sent to me in search of his viberator!

DUXXXXXREBACK [8:09 PM]:  hey martin,  did you get any of my phone messages?  i left my silver colored vibrator in your room the last time i saw you at the baths on Ost.  can you drop it off at my house sometime?

 

I'm glad they decided to do the right thing and pay my wages that were due and payable as of today.  I looked through the mail, and there it was.. a check from them, but no indication as to why they acted so pussilanimous.   Oh well, I've got bigger fish to fry so I can't dwell on them.  I have to look out for me.

A NyQuil Moment, continued.....

Today’s Word  

detritus \dih-TRY-tuhs\, noun;   plural detritus:
   1. Loose material that is worn away from rocks.
   2.  Hence, any fragments separated from the body to which they
   belonged; any product of disintegration; debris.

I've still not been able to get out of bed. I barely made it out the bedroom door with H.R.H. Halena Slopoflopolopolous and get something to drink from my bedroom fridge/bar.

 

Does anyone know of any job leads?

 

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: .H.R.H. Halena Slopoflopolopolous.  She's so loving.  I love her. She loves me.

 

READERS:  Your thoughts are VERY VERY IMPORTANT TO ME otherwise I'd notopen my life to you like I do, particularily to those of you who have been given the link directly.  I offer my sincere thanks and appreciation for your comments about this posting.  Please click the link below to post them here.

A NyQuil Moment

Today’s Word  

matutinal  \muh-TOOT-n-uhl\, adjective:
   Relating to or occurring in the morning; early.

 

Today, I've been too sick to write in my blog.  I have this cold from HELL.  I've been in bed all day/night.

 

 

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: My health

 

 

 

READERS:  Your thoughts are VERY VERY IMPORTANT TO ME otherwise I'd not open my life to you like I do, particularily to those of you who have been given the link directly.  I offer my sincere thanks and appreciation for your comments about this posting.  Please click the link below to post them here.

Happy Birthday, Maarten!

Today’s Word  

renaissance: re·nais·sance
Pronunciation: "re-n&-'sän(t)s, -'zän(t)s, -'säns, -'zäns, 're-n&-", chiefly British ri-'nA-s&n(t)s
Function: noun
Usage: often attributive
Etymology: French, from Middle French, rebirth, from renaistre to be born again, from Latin renasci, from re- + nasci to be born -- more at NATION
1 capitalized a : the transitional movement in Europe between medieval and modern times beginning in the 14th century in Italy, lasting into the 17th century, and marked by a humanistic revival of classical influence expressed in a flowering of the arts and literature and by the beginnings of modern science b : the period of the Renaissance c : the neoclassic style of architecture prevailing during the Renaissance
2 often capitalized : a movement or period of vigorous artistic and intellectual activity
3 : REBIRTH, REVIVAL 

Happy Birthday, Maarten! Today is my 43rd birthday.

 

Yeah right!  Bonne Anniversaire du moi!  This cold sure is special; eSPECIALly annoying and impeding my ability to job hunt.  I'm so desperate for work.

 

 

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: Having the courage to be who I am, hold my values, and be proud of me and the good man people who know me say I am.

 

 

 

READERS:  Your thoughts are VERY VERY IMPORTANT TO ME otherwise I'd not open my life to you like I do, particularily to those of you who have been given the link directly.  I offer my sincere thanks and appreciation for your comments about this posting.  Please click the link below to post them here.

 

Happy Birthday, Jeff!

Today’s Word  

Pristine -   \PRISS-teen\  • adjective
*1 : belonging to the earliest period or state : original
2 a : not spoiled, corrupted, or polluted (as by civilization) : pure b : fresh and clean as or as if new .

 

Happy Birthday, Jeff!  Today is my brother's 38th birthday.  Mine is tomorrow.

 

When I arrived today and seen all the Spring-time activity of my new house for the first time ever (I just purchased it last August).  I had no idea how beautiful it really is until I seen all this renaissaince.

 

Renaissance, what a great word.  Rebirth!  I say this because my eyes beheld the beauty of Spring today.  My mom's spirit whispered to me, "Today is the first day of the 43rd Spring of your life Martin, and this new season will be beautiful and fullfilling for you as what you are witnessing before your eyes right here and now"  She also said to me, "come here I want to show you something", she took me to Toonies burial site and said "remember how snowy, windy, and cold it was the day his body was laid to rest, look at this beautiful apple tree in cloud-like full bloom that we chose.  You had no idea how pretty it would be".  She swiftly left.

 

Since tomorrow, April 26 is my birthday, there is nothing on earth that could physically compare to the gift I received today.  What happened to me that I just spoke of, can't be matched by anyone or anything.  It was a gift of hope and faith with an underlying hint of promise!

 

MOTHER! I LOVE YOU.  I'm the luckiest man on this planet to be able to have this relationship with you long after you passed away.  (Crying)  Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

 

 

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: This beautiful home here in Bristol.  In Washington,DC, this place would go for over $2,000,000.00 and end in a fierce bidding war requiring a cost of about 20% over its listing price and; thats WITHOUT this acre + lawn.  Thank you Harold & Vernon for making it all possible.  You guys are unrecognized angels.

 

READERS:  Your thoughts are VERY VERY IMPORTANT TO ME otherwise I'd not open my life to you like I do, particularily to those of you who have been given the link directly.  I offer my sincere thanks and appreciation for your comments about this posting.  Please click the link below to post them here.

Didn't I Just Have A Bad Case of Loggorrhea?

Today’s Word  

Euphonious -  Pleasing or sweet in sound; smooth sounding.

 

This quotation has a special meaning to me.  "One can too easily become what you are called with all the unwelcomed responsibilities that title makes you heir to."  Maya Angelou

 

 

A Link To My Loggorrheic Moment:  http://hometown.aol.com/amiamibeachman/index.html  

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: Having reciprocal insight  and intuition with H.R.H. Halena Slopoflopolopolous to witness, understand, and hold in respectful regard her grief and grieving process resulting from Toonie's passing last Christmas.  She knows I feel her pain and loss.  She also knows I make every effort in good faith attempting to help her feel better.  I love her!

The Chain of Love; Don't Let It End With You!

I think there is a country song by a similar title. That song IS NOT the basis for this post.  This post is a reflection back on a conversation earlier this morning with 2 new acquaintences Billy and Dan, whom upon first impression may become friends. 

Billy, brought to me today a Native American ring to bring me good luck, peace, happiness, success, etc from the events of recent surrounding employment.  This gesture on Billy's behalf demonstrates traits essential to friendship from my perspective.  Billy's basic care, compassion, and concern for me and my recent plight/hardship are signified by his soulfully spirited effort to think of me and assign value to me in his life.; as well as him acknowledging my personal pain and anguish.   I will hold, protect, and return the ring to Billy at either the time he requests it back or it has served me and is time to be passed to another deserving person in need of a link in the chain of love.

Dan and I had a conversation about friends.  I apprised him of my recent disappointments by "friends" at Toonie's passing away.  Dan is in his early 20's.  I wanted to share some of my wisdom with him, being his senior of more than 20 years.  I elaborated to Dan how it is important to never comprimise the definition of a friend as he understands it to be, to cherish and protect that meaning of "a friend" and shun and avoid any direct correlation with/by/through/as "an accquaintence" or "a family member".  I told him to always maintain clear and precise distinction between those 3 terms.  Lack of doing so can be excrusiatingly painful as it was with me.  I further explained to him how; through my lenses and in my paradigm that an accqaintence, can become a friend, who may as well; over time become a family member.  All having totally different places, meanings, representations, and responsibilities in the chain of life. 

Speaking of Chains, the 2 gestures above are representative of "The Chain of Love".  When someone gives a link to you, once you've used it for your need, pass it down to the next needingly deserving person.  Never let the chain end with you.  Another link  may return and if it does, connect both ends.

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: That brisk breeze creeping through the 3 inch opening of my bedside window.  Itfeels so stimulating and smells of Spring's essence as it ever sogently passes over my unshaven face.

 

It (The Job Search) Begins Again

Well I suppose today begins the next chapter in my job hunt.  I've slept on this decision by Fontheim last night and now that a new day has arrived.  I have to acknowledge my true gut instinct from the get-go immediately upon receiving that so-called "offer letter" from Orit.  When I smell a mouse, it really is there and simply because I'm very intuitive and wise.

Im very impressed by the UNITING of my friends.  It seems as though everyone who has learned of this situation has volunteeringly proffered seeing what they can find for me.  If not a full-time regular position, at least one which will tide me over until I can do better.  Last January through the help of my therapist, I went through the process of divorcing many of my so-called friends. Mostly these "friends" were mislabled "friends" by my own navie doing.  In the gay communtiy we tend to refer to everyone as "friends" whether we've know them 5 minutes or 5 years.  The reason I had to go through this divorcing of friends is that these people weren't supportive for me during last Christmas season when Toonie, my dog of 14 years was at his end of life stage due to "old age".  Gary, an African American and a social worker by profession said to me when I reached out to him... "Its just a dog.  What do you expect?  Its 14years old".  Well to me Toonie was my best friend of 14 years.  My family member.  The one being that gave me unconditional love.  So Toonie wasn't "Just a Dog".  I felt so abandoned during this with the exception of Mario, my friend from Venice, Italy and my best friend Sandy from Brisbane, Australia.  Those two friends, stood beside me.  Charlie, a relatively new friend at the time, was there for me too.  However he was unable to relate to Toonie much more than him being a dog.  Charlie has been a dog breeder previously and his emotional connection wasn't like mine to dogs.  Gary's remark has been the primary topic of my therapy sessions since it happend.  His statement was profound and had a profound negative impact on me.  But that night a couple nights before Christmas, when mother awakened me knudging me on my shoulder; saying "wake up Martin, I'm here for Toonie".  Made it ALL better.  I felt an eerie ease and calm all over.  An ease that guaranteed me that the unsupportive friends were moot and that Toonie was in the best hands he could possibly be in....his  grandmother's.  Im so fortunate that my mom is with me every day and that I was able to allow her spirit into my life.  For it is her who is everwatching over me and providing a safe and secure oversight for me through the mercurial journey of my fulfilling, rewarding, and enriching life.  No matter how difficult life gets, my mother will always be there to provide me a safe harbor, unconditionally.  She did so for me during childhood, she's promised me forever.  I know she won't let me down.

It wouldn't surprise me that I never receive the $1600 in wages for the 4 days I worked.  Nor would it surprise me if my suspicion were correct that they were attempting to circumnavigate the headhunter's fee by demanding to deal directly with me opposed to communicating with me through the headhunters.

 

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: The ability to know right from wrong and the wisdom to acknowledge it when either is put before me.  I'm also grateful for my friends including Tim, Sam, and Charlie.  I'm so lucky to have my brother...annoying as he may be we share an unconditional brotherly love.

Vincent, DMV, Fontheim, Etc...

Today, I finished day 4 at work.  Came home.  Treated myself to take-away Crabcakes from The Oceanaire (www.theoceanaire.com ).  Two crabcakes ONLY = over $40 plus tax but, WELL WORTH IT!  I got home, received a phone call from my headhunter as I was putting my dinner together to celebrate my new job.  Fontheim, giving no reasoning whatsoever to me or my headhunter, doesn't want me to return to work again; ever.  I was quiet, meek, and unassuming.  I didn't chat, chatter, or engage in sidebar conversation.  I never socialized with anyone.  I just put my nose to the grindstone and did my work.  The only dialogue I'd have was about learning my new job.  Noone even indicated anything was not right with me or my work.  They all told me that is "perfect".  What has happened?  What did I do?  Not do? I'm very very sad.  I need someone's help and guidance.  Please help.  I desperately need work.

***  That Vincent..... I really like him! He's a very nice, kind, considerate, compassionate, heartful, and warm man.   Maybe BF potential; but I'm too shy to initiate it!  He probably has no interest in me to that affect anyhow!***

I have to make another attempt today to get my car registered at the DMV.  Thanks to those FUCKING REPUBICLANS (NO TYPO) and their ILK.

First order of business:  A limousine from Bistro Bis to Longworth House Office Building.

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: That bright ray of sunshine which burst through the window blinds and Shamrock plants on the sill to strike my face and wake me this morning.

Yes, As A Matter of Fact, I Do Know Prince Charles (Both Of Them)

Yes, believe it or not! I have met Prince Charles Windsor a few times through my work.  While he's the former husband of the ubiquitious Princess Dianna and heir to the British crown; I have my own Prince Charles - Charlie!  Charlie a good 'ol country boy from TN who I met shortly after I purchased my house in Bristol last fall.  According to him, he and I had talked numerous times on AOL Chat.  I don't recall but I trust him on this.  While maybe deep inside yearning to do the same, he's someone who has been able to set himself apart from the custom and tradition of our lives and lifestyles of our social groups identity.  For that, I give him great applaud and commendation.  If we all could meet someone who we can find our systemic and innate values in.  I've found mine in Charlie.  He grew up very similar to me but in a different part of the southern U.S.  Our educational, economic, social, cutlural, and physical backgrounds somewhat mirror each others.  The main difference between us is education.  Not that one is better or worse than the other but to demonstrate the contrast between us, I graduated from one of the country's best International Studies Law Schools. (The American University).  This has afforded me numerous opportunities to do things I never dreamed I'd do or know about.  (Thank you mother for making me become educated).  Charlie, I believe is high school graduate and works at the nations largest retailer as a non-mananger manager.  What I see through my lenses (outside looking in) is that his life is so much more simplistic than mine.  I wrestle with this conflicting struggle daily with how to maintain simplicity in my life while reaching high-end goals and the luxuries of success.  Oh the toll it has, and is taking on my quality of life.  Maybe the two are NOT to be, but the energy it takes to attempt an unbalanceable duo is exhausting.  Too exhausting!  More often than not, Bristol as my final home is it.  Daily, I think of how I want to leave Washington and all the rat race.  Its too too taxing; the stress, the commotion, the angry bitch at the CVS, the relentless battles against each other, etc. Charlie's life to me in many aspects (online social drama excluded) is only a pipedream for me.  Something I wish I could have but don't know how to achieve.

I Arrived at the officetoday and it didnt start off on a good foot. I didn't get my Coach bag put down before I was "ordered" to "do this". OK, for all who know me; know I don't take "orders" well.  I don't like being here.  Thank you Charlie for reminding me to keep my focus and goals in sight!  My goal for this job is it being my "means to an end".  Meaning a source of income until I can get my own Bristol based business up and going.  Hopefully that'll be by Fall 2005.

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: Charlie being my friend and this job with long hours; which upon first glance I don't like.  I will admit, that today seemed a bit easier by day's end!

Sick. Again...........

This job is really difficult for me in terms of my body being able to do the long hours. I've been quite sick since last Saturday morning. I've been fighting having to go to my doctor since I don't have any insurance until I complete the first 30 days of employment. I don't think I can make it that long at this job. I pray that it'll all be OK, but Im concerned that my body doesn't have the strength. As a matter of fact, the last 3 days my body has felt as though its ready to stop. This to some might be a scary thought. To me, its calming, peaceful, and right.

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: Drs. Yoho, Weinroth, Schmidt, & Polner.

Pope Voting Begins....

Well, there's no new Pope yet.  Well its not on my list of Papal priorities.  I reflect back on the image of Pope John Paul lying there on that board in St. Peter's Basilica.  I wonder why there wasn't buzzards flying around overhead if reports of him not being embalmed are correct.  I suppose there was stench in the air.

Today, I'm sick and I just completed my first day on my new job.  It was a very easy day.  Included only getting paperwork done.  I have to say, I do get a better feeling now that I've covered some items with Katherine. 

I just spoke with Dr. Yoho and he told me to take this Cipro and Metro...zole to help make me feel better.  I can't get sick with this new job.  Im already stressed about it because of fear of what happened to my last job.  Being sick and having nobody to turn to is difficult.  I want to be with my mom, she's so happy.  Toonie is with her too.

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: Having the person who is my mom being first and foremost, my best friend and confidente.

Things I'm Thinking Of...

....Am I getting sick again?  Here at the start of a new job.  I was terminated from my last one for being hospitalized.  This scares me.

....Maybe I'm depressed.

....I'm alone with no one to share myself with who'd truly appreciate who I am.  Chris was the last person.

....I wonder about Sir and Sandy.

....I wanted to go to Busara for dinner today to somewhat treat myself for this new job.  I didn't.

....I don't know if I like the Land Rover.

....I'm honored at what David said to me today.  I've never had someone say; "thanks for allowing me into your life".  It made me feel very special.

....I missed Vincent today.  I've missed him online now on 2 occasions.  He sure is a cutie.  We've known each other for a few years.

....Will I ever again have someone worthy to share my life with?

....I just realized this fora is a place where I can share my most intimate thoughts with myself, a person who I can trust.  I know I have people allowed to read my blog, but I could make it private.  Nah, I don't want to make it private.  I want people to know all of me.

.... I miss my beautiful home in Bristol.  I wish I were there.

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: Harold and Vernon who've made an incredible contribution to making my life more comfortable, enjoyable, and productive.

Why?

What is wrong with me?  Where did I make a mistake where I'd be in this situation?  Why do I have such turbulent employment situations?  Why do I feel so unwanted? 

I recieved versions 1,2, and... of the offer letter from Orit, They're ALL so vague that it basically says nothing more than my salary.  I've never had, nor do I know of anyone who has received an offer letter so vaguely written, or in such an informal manner.  Darlaine understands and acknowledges, and validates most of my concerns.  Im VERY uneasy about accepting this position.  I may not even receive my wages.  I find it unusual Orit insists on working directly with me opposed to the headhunters. From personal experiences, there are several "red flags" to all this.

I just don't understand and I'm sure I won't until I'm able to see hindsight.  I think my biggest mistakes in life are my unwavering systemic value of treating people the way I want them to treat me.  I never thought of myself as being this way until I reflect back over several months and see there have been several people who know me very well who all have made the statment; "you treat others, the way you want to be treated, but take it a step further by treating others better than you want to be treated". 

Is this a personal trait that could be a double edged sword?  I need help with this.

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: Mel & Juanita.

April 15, 2005:  The Tax Man Cometh

I'm not talking the IRS.  I'm talking the taxing toll all this stress is having on my quality of life.  I feel overwhelmed.

I heard from Candace, one of my attorneys handling the wrongful dismissal from RSM McGladrey.  She had some good strategy ideas.

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: To be an American and freedom.

The Turnip Truck

OK, now does Orit think I just fell off the turnip truck or what? If she really thinks I'm going to sign a wedge of Swiss cheese disguised as an offer letter, then she's certainly got a new tune to listen to. I received the offer letter today. I can't believe she'd actually present something like that to a prospective employee. The only thing it outlines is my salary. NOTHING else. Back to the drawing board.

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: For finding a reliable headhunter(s) Darlaine, Dian, and Denise!

Triskadekaphobia

Today was my "phobic" day. Triskadekaphobia, yes, I have a eerieness about the number 13. I'm awaiting the offer letter from Orit. She said yesterday that the attorney would have it to the headhunter and me today. We'll see.

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: My nurse Summer.

A Delay....

I was supposed to begin my new job today.  Unfortunately the attorney drafting my offer letter hasn't completed it as of today.  Yesterday evening, both Orit and I had thought I'd be starting tomorrow (Wednesday) but still yet the attorney hasn't finished the documents as of this evening.  I spoke with Orit and she recommended waiting until Monday April 18 as my first day.  Between Darlaine and I, Monday was my preference and I hoped that communication with Orit contained her proffer of Monday.  She did, reasoning that it'd give all parties time to reveiw, discuss, and resolve.

The New Job/Land Rover

I'm supposed to begin my new job tomorrow, unfortunately, being the saavy businessman I am, I'm not starting the new job without an official offer letter to document the terms and conditions of my employment.  Orit has asked to push the start date back to accommodate the attorney's delay in drafting it.  This will work for me, but I sure as heck don't want to start a new job on the 13th day of the month.  Im triskadecaphobic.

I got my new to me Land Rover today.  Im excited about it.

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: To have the option to choose what I want to eat today.

 

April 10, 2005:  Drugs or Jesus by Tim McGraw

Damn, isn't Tim just "too sexy for his shirt"!  That song on his CD, "Drugs or Jesus" is a song which I can relate to in terms of "his hometown".  Bristol fits his characterization of his hometown.  Specifically is correlation to Drugs and Jesus.  It is estimated by law enforcement officials that more than 75% of the Crystal Methamphetamine supplied to the entire Southeast United States is produced in Southwest Virginia and East Tennessee.  Go Figure!  By default thanks to my legal experience and education, I'm somewhat analytical.  You know, if you think of them from the paradigm of good and bad; they both can be equally destructive and toxic.

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: To have choice.

Orange, Chartreuse, Purple, & Blue Doors!

Today I accomplished one of my many goals.  I painted the four exterior doors to my house in Bristol.  Something I'd wanted to do for months.  The colors are:  Can't Miss Lime, Plum Good, Pool Party, and Island Orange.

Today, I'm GRATEFUL for: The health, breath, and strenght to pay for and own my beautiful home here in Bristol.

 

Thank You Orit! Thank You Davis!

For the new job.  For the ORIGINAL 1965 chartreuse couch!

WOW!  Should I begin with the job or the couch.  I'm equally excited about both.  OK, I'm just going to flip a coin and heads, the couch; tails, the job!  Damn, I dropped the coin down between the cushions on the couch!  TAILS!  Well this is probably some of the greatest news I've had in a long time.  Since the beginning of December, 2004 I've experienced an exceptionally harsh and barren winter season of life, beginning with the passing of my best friend Toonie a couple days before Christmas! 

I've certainly earned this position and more importantly I'm fully qualified for it AND lacking some elements of experience that it will provide to me.  From the moment of literally stepping foot inside the office, everything from the decor to the vogue attire of the staff to show off their equally polished and poised intellect, knowledge, and expertise.  Remember DALLAS or DYNASTY?  These people are as poised as Ewings or Carrington's.  I  believe I'll fit in quite nicely and easily.  More importantly, I'll be able to perform quite well I believe.  Therefore, I extend a great big Thank You to Orit. But I CANNOT and WILL NOT forget Darlaine, Dian, and Denise.  It is you to whom I owe the greatest debt of gratitude.

Thank you Davis for this beautiful couch.  It fits in perfectly with my 1965 house and retro furnishings.

Thank you my good friend Charlie for coming up to visit today and have dinner with Davis and me.

How Can I Be Sure Thats Not An Oncoming Train?/Introducing SNOW PEA WONG

Fontaime may come through with the job offer after all.  I suggested to my head hunter yesterday to present to them the option of me working for them for 1 month and then at the end of that month, we'll both reassess how much we like working with each other.  If both of us agree that a professional relationship is mutually beneficial, then we'll move forward.  Otherwise, we'll shake hands and part our ways on amicable terms.

This morning I received a phone message from one of my lead interviewers and she had indicated in that message that they were prepared to make an offer contingent upon the satisfactory completion of the 1-month trial employment.   Given the difficulty of my work references I believe this is the best way to mitigate loss and maximize gain to both parties.  So maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel.  Who knows, it might just be an oncoming train!

Davis and I are going to Bristol this weekend.  I look forward to it.  I can't wait to let him see where I grew up and how I was raised.  He'll get to meet Jeff, Queen Halena Slopoflopolopolous too.  Even Prince Charles.  I also have a lot of Spring yard work to do around my house this weekend too.  I will need to mow the lawn for the first time this year, pick up broken tree branches, and I finally get to do to my house what I've been looking forward to for many months; since I purchased the house -- paint each of my four exterior doors their individual colors (Orange, Purple, Brilliant Blue, and Chartreuse).  I hope Davis likes my house.  But no matter what anyone thinks, I love it.  Its my home. My Castle.

April 6, 2005 - RESERVED

Are Executives Really Dumb?/A Brother's Love Is Unconditional

Today, my professional advocate, Darlaine called to let me know that Patrick, my former boss must have had an special Carribbean vacation.  When he was asked about my work history, he couldn't remember who I was, what I did, or anything other than being a "very nice", "generous", and "giving" person.  Question remains for me though, is; If Im all these things, then how come he can't remember me?  After all he is the one who gave me all these performance reviews that were glowing while employed under his leadership.  I think its most often characterized as "selective recollection".  Now, what in the world is the impression which Orit and Darlaine are left with?  Im now worried that I won't be offered this position which I truly want.

April 4, 2005  A Brother's Love is Unconditional

Queen Halena Slopoflopolopolous' Arrival

My mood right this moment is "WAKING UP".   I can see EXCITEMENT building as I anticipate the arrival around 4pm of Queen Halena Slopoflopolopolous!  She'll be arriving around 4pm with Jeff.  Jeff will just be a royal pain in the ass, if you know what I mean.  He expects me to wait on him hand over foot as though I were his own personal servant.

The little "private concert" I attended last night at David Gregory with Gui was cool. Gui was somewhat of a "promoter" of the singer and getting his music out and about for the world to see.  Gui isn't an entertainment promoter at all, he works at a national chain GLBT bookstore.  He's a drop dead gorgeous, 35yo Marylander now residing in The District with the most beautiful silver hair and bright eyes I've ever seen on anyone, EVER!  He's quite the looker and his personality is so sweet too. He's boyfriend material for someone, even me!  Picky Maarten.  People know me, how I've turned away many accomplished prospects only to be hooked by Snow Pea Wong.  How that happened I'll never know.  I sure hope Gui wasn't put off by me last night at my being so tired and unable to manage affairs!  But if my first impression remains fitting over the long run, then he's TAKEN!  His style is all his own, he seems to be a good man with good values, kindness, and reasonability.  Last night he'd look at me and I became captivated by that sparkle in his eyes.  Last night was a weird night for me.  I had only had 4 hours or less of sleep the night before.

 

April 2, 2005:  All Fools Day - A Day Late, A Dollar Short!

Shawn arrived overly fucked up and annoying.  Bouncing off the satellites was a good way of describing him.  At first he was so amusing, even to the point that I wished I knew how to operate my camcorder; I would have taped him so that he could have seen it later and he'd been able to self-deprecate first-first class style!  He was running, jumping, and dancing.  Standing in front of the window singing and talking but the words didnt fit together as cohesive sentences or ideas.  It was like singing a song with the stanza's lyrics jumbled as well as the letters of each individual word.  He was even dancing and singing in the jacuzzi tub.  Finally it got time for Vic to arrive home and in fulfilling my respectful order conducive to peaceful living for Vic, ended the amusement of Shawn.  At that point, fun turned to annoyance.  I asked Shawn to chill and lets go to sleep.  He got in bed but proceeded to crawl all over the bed, me, and then stand up in the middle of the bed and resumed the Jacuzzi performance.  Finally, I had my fill and said something I don't believe I've ever said before:  "I'm sorry.  I'm saddened that I'm unable to fulfill my personal committment and my words to you in agreeing to provide for you a shelter from the storm of your romance for the night, but you have to go!"  He left and agreed to call me to let me know he arrived wherever it was he went to, safely.  I haven't heard from him yet.

First True Love

It has taken me more than forty years to figure out who my first true love is up to this point. Who knows, that may change tomorrow, but for now and until it does, that person is Chris.  Chris was a beautiful man, smart, bright, articulate, passionate as most Greeks are.  He taught me a lot about myself and how I was clueless to some things while being sharp as a tack to others.  He taught me how to cook and appreciate cooking.  He taught me lots of lessons for life.  He helped me to understand the meaning of "Love" and "Sex" as they  relate to a gay male partnership.  At first I thought he'd lost interest in me and was on his way to stopping loving me.  Over the years of our relationship, and to the day, I can reflect back on that event and see that in truth he loved me more and maybe I knew I loved him at the time.  He was very insightful.  He loved me, I loved him.  He had his own forces to reckon with, but he was a true and genuine man.  Above all, that holds the highest respect of all in my eyes.  He cannot re-enter my life in a physical way.  I will not allow that to happen.