I Feel Sad Today

Word of the day: glogg \GLUG\ noun: a hot spiced wine and liquor punch served in Scandinavian countries as a Christmas drink.

For some odd reason or another, I feel sad.  I don't know why.  Nothing negative, sad, or bad has occurred recently.  Perhaps its the stress from job hunting.  I got this great job offer contingent on the references.  The headhunter has told me the references check out just fine and its a "go" in all respects.  However, I recall how stressful it was at the beginning of this year when I was trying to find a job and it was so difficult.  Perhaps I'm having a reaction from the previous experience.  Perhaps PTSD!

It doesn't make me happy that I'm having to use Jeff's car.  I worry that he's not attending Clubhouse like he should.  I miss being in Bristol.  It seems as though its where I belong.  It seems as though after these 25 years here in Washington, all of a sudden, I don't belong.  Washington is where I call home.  Washington, I believe is the most beautiful city in the world.  I always talk about how grateful I am to live here.  Somehow, now I feel as I don't belong.  I miss Holly.  I'm lonely.  I love Jeff so much.  He means the world to me.  He's my world.  I can't ever let him down.  Maybe sometimes I'm too hard on him.  But I only want the best for him.  I want him to be OK should something tragic happen to me.  Where did this heavy aura come from that is lingering over me today?  Why is it here?  I wish I had someone online, an acquaintence or friend to chat with.  Maybe that'd cheer me up.