i just need to cry...but there are no shoulders to cry on...

Word of the day:  spiel\SPEEL\ noun: a voluble line of often extravagant talk : pitch.

"In the part of this universe that we know there is great injustice, and often the good suffer, and often the wicked prosper, and one hardly knows which of those is the more annoying."

Yesterday, I was quite blue.  A result of the day-to-day enviornmental things around us, etc (work, friends, wishes, needs, desires, love, you name it).  The most difficult thing for me to handle is people who are duplicitious, deceptive, dishonest, and to add fuel to the fire; malicious on top of it.

I miss Rhabi.  I miss my beautiful home in Bristol.  I no longer want to be in Washington, DC, but I can't find a job in Bristol that will pay me a decent "living wage".  Its very frustrating.  Frustrating as well that I've accepted this job here in Bethesda and I'm fully committed to it for as long as it lasts; which makes my move to Bristol more in the future.  To add insult to injury, Karrie, one of the low level recruiters proffered scathing feedback about me to my boss for my evaluation.  It was a fabricated and long winded bloviating diatribe about what a bad person I am opposed to being an instrument detailing true professional goal reaching and learning objectives. 

The person writing this feedback to my boss, is the same person who told me in April that she didn't tell anyone about her being pregnant until the doctor gave it a sure thing.  She didn't want to jinx her pregnancy and have something like "my brother" happen.

I thought I might have a shoulder to cry on, but I learned this morning, that I didn't.