Some of how I feel about myself...

Word of the day:  rife\RYFE\ adjective:  1 : prevalent especially to an increasing degree. 
2 : abundant, common.  *3 : copiously supplied : abounding — usually used with "with" .

"No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched."  George Nathan

An excerpt from the TAO.  http://www.thetao.info/

 

I am not my hair, my eyes, my nose or my mouth. I am not my skin or the shape of
any of my body parts. I am not the IQ of my brain. I am not the sound of my voice or
the volume of my laughter. I am not my strengths or any of my weaknesses. I am not
the level of my skills. The temple of my physical makeup is a culmination of genetics.
It reveals nothing about the person who resides within. I take no credit or point no
blame for the way I look. My temple is perfect, as is. This body is not who I am. It is an
exquisitely perfect dwelling for my soul. Everything about it is exactly as it should be.

Sometimes We Need To Cry

Word of the day:  elucubrate\elu·cu·brate\ transitive verb: 1. : to work out or express by studious effort. 2.  Work diligently.

"

A sage:

lets go of extremism lets go of luxury lets go of apathy.

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the old man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

Word of the day:  elucubrate\elu·cu·brate\ transitive verb: 1. : to work out or express by studious effort. 2.  Work diligently.

"To be free is to have achieved your life."  Tennessee Williams, Playwright

I seen

Word of the day:  elucubrate\elu·cu·brate\ transitive verb: 1. : to work out or express by studious effort. 2.  Work diligently.

"To be free is to have achieved your life."  Tennessee Williams, Playwright

I seen

Word of the day:  elucubrate\elu·cu·brate\ transitive verb: 1. : to work out or express by studious effort. 2.  Work diligently.

"To be free is to have achieved your life."  Tennessee Williams, Playwright

I seen

Word of the day:  elucubrate\elu·cu·brate\ transitive verb: 1. : to work out or express by studious effort. 2.  Work diligently.

"To be free is to have achieved your life."  Tennessee Williams, Playwright

I seen

Margaret, I'm 44 fucking years old..

Word of the day:  elucubrate\elu·cu·brate\ transitive verb: 1. : to work out or express by studious effort. 2.  Work diligently.

"To be free is to have achieved your life."  Tennessee Williams, Playwright

... I don't need a chapherone to lead me through life.  When I say I'm going out to the Safeway and I'll be back in a few minutes.  I may be, I may not be.  I may happen to run into friends who I want to spend some time with.  Who the fuck are you to go and file a "Missing Person's" report because I've not returned home within what you consider A reasonable amount of time -- LESS THAN 12 HOURS!  Who also gives you the authority to go calling my work reporting me missing?  

You are really one selfish, inconsiderate, and rude woman.  I feel pity for you and your inability to act and/or react appropriately to situations.  I dislike you now and resent your nescience.  YOU NEED TO USE YOUR HEAD FOR MORE THAN A FUCKING PLACE TO HANG YOUR HAT.

Word of the day:  elucubrate\elu·cu·brate\ transitive verb: 1. : to work out or express by studious effort. 2.  Work diligently.

"To be free is to have achieved your life."  Tennessee Williams, Playwright

I seen an interesting tag plate this morning on a car.  It was a slant on the automobile brand Volkswagen.  I passed a Toyota Prius hybrid and its tag plate read "VoltsWagn". Pretty clever and creative, I think.

 

That Karrie, really has the balls about her.  She comes to me today to request our Executive Chef to make food for a meeting which she would like or "can eat".  Does she really think I'm going to do that?  Hell NO if I were a vindictive man!  I should ask the Chef for things she can't eat and make her fucking gut growl during the meetings.  I won't do that either, but I will do as I usually do.

 

 

Bristol Job Notes:
1.  I'm still having to get the correct language down for my resume and the Tri-Citites, TN/VA markets.  I can't glorify my professional background like it needs to be done here in Washington.  In Washington, I'm competing with the best of the best.  In Bristol, thats not really the case. So I have to give them, in their terms, just enough to entice them to call me in for an interview..
2.  I reveiwed www.indeed.com and www.simplyhired.com  and I'm amazed at the jobs in the medical field in the Tri-Citites.  Hundreds.
3.  I suppose, I'm going to have to go for more of the "management" type job for the interim until I get all the business set up.

LATCHSTRING - the only word in English with 6 constanants in a row.

Word of the day:  latchstring\latch·string\ noun: 1. a string on a latch that may be left hanging outside the door to permit the raising of the latch from the outside or drawn inside to prevent intrusion. Only word in the English language that contains 6 constanants in a row.

"Go with every day and find the inner strength so that the world will not blow your candle out."  Katherine Dunham, Dancer and choreographer

I feel a little bit better today in terms of emotional spirit.  I was just simply taken aback by that nasty immature bitch and her personal attack and then overhearing her boastful bloviating bantor about how she slammed me to my boss.  This really hurt as it was MOST unprofessional and unquestionably pusillanimous conduct.

I look forward to the time Risa gives me my evaluation.  I want to let her know just how I learned of it.

 

Bristol Job Notes:
1.  Actually re-read my resume and decided it needs further work.
2.  I actually found the job ad for the security supervisor at KINK COLLEGE in Bristol, TN.

A Graduate of DC's Police Academy

Word of the day:  divarication\dye-vair-uh-KAY-shun\ noun:  1 : the action, process, or fact of spreading apart.  *2 : a divergence of opinion.

"One should know the value of Life better than to pout any part of it away."  Hester Lynch Piozzi, Memorist

 

Word of the day:  logorrhea\log·or·rhea\  excessive and often incoherent talkativeness or wordiness.

"That all men are equal is a proposition which, at ordinary times, no sane individual has ever given his assent."  Aldous Huxley

I do not want to be here at work today.  This week begins my official "stepped up" campaign

Bristol Job Notes:
1.  Last night I got my resume revamped and ready to send out.
2.  Today, actually this evening, I'll be going through the recent job postings on www.indeed.com and www.simplyhired.com  to find jobs that would suffice as "short-term" employment.

URGGGHHHHHHHH!

Word of the day:  revenant\REV-uh-nahng (the final "ng" is not pronounced, but the vowel is nasalized)\ noun: one that returns after death or a long absence.

"You know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."  Mitch Hedberg

I do not want to be here at work today.  This week begins my official "stepped up" campaign to find an "interim" job in Bristol so that I can transition from working for someone to working for myself.  I wonder how long it will take me to get a decent paying job?  We'll count the days and I'll make notes on my blog as to the steps and progress I've made each day in that effort.

I wish I could have caught up with Jaime over the last few days.  My schedule has been such a nightmare.  I want to get him this stuff I have for him, to him.  I feel as though he may think I just absconded.  Which that is NOT the case. 

I was very very delighted to hear from Chris Criscuolo last night.  We talked for about an hour.  Maybe I'll get to see him soon.

I wonder if that country boy will call me this week!

Bristol Job Notes:
1.  Revamping my resume gearing it toward jobs in the Tri-Cities, TN area.
2.  Monitoring www.indeed.com and www.simplyhired.com  to find jobs that would suffice as "short-term" employment.

Gay Pride & Naked Biking...ALL in DC, Today!

Word of the day:  omnipotent\ahm-NIP-uh-tunt\ adjective: having virtually unlimited authority or influence.

"We do not know what we want and yet we are responsible for what we are - that is the fact.."  Jean Paul Satre

Naked Bike Riders Taking to the Street of Washington Washington (AP) - Bike riders are preparing to bare it all as they ride through Washington Sunday.

Riders are gathering this morning in McPherson Square to ride naked through the city as part of a larger effort to promote the use of alternatives to oil.

The ride through D.C. is one of several planned Sunday in the U.S. and worldwide, including in cities like Seattle, Chicago and Mexico City.

The riders, covered in body paint, are scheduled to leave McPherson Square at 11 a.m. 

My weekend was just made perfect by Chris Criscuolo:  For months, I've been hoping to hear from him.  He's such a handsome, fun, nice, sweet, and all the other stuff kind of man.  I recall when he and I first met years ago.  For me, it was ......at first sight.  I hope he is doing well.  I have faith in him and that he's on the right track.  I hope it works out that we can see each other soon. 

Gay Pride Weekend Here In Washington, D.C.

Word of the day:  spiel\SPEEL\ noun: a voluble line of often extravagant talk : pitch.

"Its the possibility that when you're dead, you might go on hurting that bothers me."  Keri Hulme, The Bone People 1983

Click here to view the website for DC Gay Pride:  www.capitalpride.org

Today begins Gay Pride weekend here in Washington, D.C.  I don't plan to attend the street festival because of the crowd and my reaction to them because of my panic disorder.  I wish I were in Bristol.  I did talk to Charlie today and he claims he's not been well.  Continually, he dwells on the negative opposed to seeing through it to the positive.  I spoke with "that country boy" last night and I'm content that he understands my need for basics in communication and that I will hold no grudges or place value judgments.  I warmly welcome him to my life as long as things are clean, clear, and above board.  I hope to be able to see him next weekend.  However, I may not get to since he's planning to go to Dollywood with some of his friends.  I'd like to go to Dollywood as well, but Snow Pea had me take her there and that didn't work out as there was too much glorification of nescience and I had a panic attack.  I worked so hard to overcome all the stereotypes of living in the hills of Appalachia that seeing "hillbillies" glorified caused me great anxiety.  I dont in any way, shape, or form want to infer, imply, or have anyone think I'm "too good" because I'm not.  I'm proud of my humble roots and acknowledge what an important  role they have played in me being where I am today.  For that, I'm grateful.

i just need to cry...but there are no shoulders to cry on...

Word of the day:  spiel\SPEEL\ noun: a voluble line of often extravagant talk : pitch.

"In the part of this universe that we know there is great injustice, and often the good suffer, and often the wicked prosper, and one hardly knows which of those is the more annoying."

Yesterday, I was quite blue.  A result of the day-to-day enviornmental things around us, etc (work, friends, wishes, needs, desires, love, you name it).  The most difficult thing for me to handle is people who are duplicitious, deceptive, dishonest, and to add fuel to the fire; malicious on top of it.

I miss Rhabi.  I miss my beautiful home in Bristol.  I no longer want to be in Washington, DC, but I can't find a job in Bristol that will pay me a decent "living wage".  Its very frustrating.  Frustrating as well that I've accepted this job here in Bethesda and I'm fully committed to it for as long as it lasts; which makes my move to Bristol more in the future.  To add insult to injury, Karrie, one of the low level recruiters proffered scathing feedback about me to my boss for my evaluation.  It was a fabricated and long winded bloviating diatribe about what a bad person I am opposed to being an instrument detailing true professional goal reaching and learning objectives. 

The person writing this feedback to my boss, is the same person who told me in April that she didn't tell anyone about her being pregnant until the doctor gave it a sure thing.  She didn't want to jinx her pregnancy and have something like "my brother" happen.

I thought I might have a shoulder to cry on, but I learned this morning, that I didn't.

How stupid can karrie really be? BAMMA First Class!

Word of the day:  mala fide\mal-uh-FYE-dee\ adverb or adjective: with or in bad faith.

"Challenge is a dragon with a gift in its mouth.  ....Tame the dragon and the gift is yours."

When

An obloquy for the pompus, pious, pusillanimous plebe at United!

Word of the day:  obloquy\AH-bluh-kwee\ noun:  *1 : a strongly condemnatory utterance : abusive language.  2 : the condition of one that is discredited : bad repute.

"Life is an escalator:  You move forward or backward; you cannot remain still."

When I learned the word of the day is "Obloquy", the first thing that comes to my mind is giving one to that two-bit ass at United bank.  The pompous one.  I'm so ready to let him have a good sharp piece of my mind.

Romeo! Oh Romeo Where For Art Thou, Romeo!

Word of the day:  bedizen\bih-DYE-zen\ verb:  to dress or adorn gaudily.

"Only the mediocre are always at their best."

When I woke up this morning, I woke up to one unappealing sight.  Over the weekend, and as late as yesterday around Noon, I thought I just had a normal pimple on my leg.  However around 2pm yesterday, I realized I may have a boil (staph infection) on its merry way to me.  While I was sleeping last night the area of my leg was very painful and burned.  I woke up this morning only to find a most gross lesion from where the boil broken open during the night and left a bloody pus mess in my bed.  This "bump" is now the size of a softball and continually oozes this thick dark red pus. I have to get to Dr. Sherwat today so I can have him lance it and make it better.

I just returned from Georgetown University Hospital and seeing Dr. Sherwat regarding this staph infection.  He wanted to put me in the hospital to give me IV antibiotics.  This scared me.  I have to return on Friday and see how it is responding to the oral antibiotic he reluctantly prescribed.  Prior to seeing Dr. Sherwat, I seen Dr. Romeo Roda;  Romeo, that was an euonym if I ever seen one!  So much, I just about forgot what I was there for!

LUCIFER'S LUNDI

Word of the day:  numismatic\noo-miz-MAT-ik\ adjective:  *1 : of or relating to the study or collection of coins, tokens, and money.  2 : of or relating to currency : monetary.

"Treat your friends as though you do your pictures, and place them in their best light."  Jennie J. Churchill, Mother of Winston Churchill

Monday, June 5... For me personally, today is one of those often talked about Monday's where no matter how well planned, thought-out, organized, and coordinated the day is, it still goes to hell in a handbasket.  This is definately the MONDAY FROM HELL!

First, my professional calendar got completely messed up.  My boss' calendar was a nightmare.  Everything that was firm, come undone. Everything undone, come together only to fall apart.  On top of that comes the breakfast and lunch for these "Mahogany Row " executives during their meetings and all that was a mess.   I had coordinated that all the food for breakfast was taken care of and luch was taken care of by Stephanie.  At 11:45am, I learn Stephanie had NOT taken care of the lunch.  That leaves me with having to scram to have my executive tier chef, whip up an executive lunch in all of 15 minutes.  THANK GOD he was able to do so. 

Then, now I go to the bank to cash a check and they charged me $10 to cash a check drawn on their bank.  That pissed me off.  Then let me go to deposit that money into my new bank account.  I get there to the teller and learn my brand new bank account is frozen.  Because I used the starter checks to pay my  May rent and mortgages before I got my debit card and activated the account.  (There was money there to cover the checks)  Now it will be frozen for 10 business days and I have my June rent to pay and all my money is in my bank account.  I feel so fucked again by a bank.  I say everyone should take their money OUT of every bank in this country and put it in your mattress.  I have been doing that overthe past few years.  Its safer there than in a bank.  Through arbitrary fees, banks in this country have a an unfettered license to STEAL from customers who can least afford to have their money taken.  Myself, being one of those customers.

I wonder what next will occur today.  I'm overwhelmed.  I had to go outside of my office today and walk around because of anxiety.  Over the weekend, that SWEET country boy, helped me out with a panic attack at home.  I find myself quite happy when he's around.  He's bright, cheerful, and has a spirit that is quite uplifting.   I've learned something metaphysically about him.  . 

 

A Perspective On Peace In Your Life

Word of the day:  caesura\sih-ZYUR-uh\ noun:  1: a break in the flow of sound usually in the middle of a line of verse.  *2 : break, interruption.  3 : a pause marking a rhythmic point of division in a melody.

"There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it."  Edith Wharton, "Vesalius in Zante"

Take a potato and write on it a name of a person who has fallen from grace with you. Do this for everyone who has raised your ire and never received your forgiveness. When you've finished, gather all your potatoes together and place them in a sack. Keep this sack next to you at all times: Take it to work. Take it to lunch. Take it everywhere you go. And always have it with you at home.

How long would it take for you to grow tired of carrying this burden around? How long would it take your potatoes to sprout into other things, fester and smell? Wouldn't it be nice to be free from the weight, stench, and constant reminder of hurt, disappointment, heartache, and anger?

By hanging on to things that are unpleasant, we create more anguish for ourselves. When you forgive someone, you free yourself from an oppressive load of negativity. Forgiveness allows you to create peace in your life.

Security Supervisor Vacancy in Bristol, TN at KINK COLLEGE

Word of the day:  pococurante\po·co·cu·ran·te\ adjective:  *1caring little.

"Trouble is a sieve through which we sift our acquaintances.  those too big to pass through are our friends."  Arlene Francis, Actor

AS/400 Technical Systems Engineer AFG INDUSTRIES COMMERICAL SALES ACCT EXECUTIV COMCAST Part-Time Dietician TriCities Medical Research SECURITY SUPERVISOR KINK COLLEGE CRAFFT COORDINATOR RADFORD UNIVERSITY PROBATION OFFICER COMPREHENSIVE COMM SERVICES More Top Jobs